I turned over the bottle of shampoo and Frank O’Hara came out. I rubbed him all into my head, letting the foam rise, knowing I was just warming myself up, excited by the excess of what was to come. Soon, I began to make noisy climax sounds. The scent of oranges and oil paint from a general store in the outlaw town of Shishido (with all its exotic wares) filled the stormy air.
I couldn’t help it, I thought of this: “One day, a fortnight or so after my mother’s death in Shishido, I was up in the hills playing with some friends. Suddenly one of them said, “Look, the baby’s hands are all swollen.” I touched the baby, which was still strapped to my back, and screamed—it was stone cold. My friends began to panic and jump up and down, shouting, “It’s dead, it’s dead.” It felt awful having something dead tied to me, so I ripped off my jacket and dropped the baby, before joining the others as they ran back down the hill as fast as their legs would take them, shrieking.”


I’ve noticed that on the east side of Central Park in New York, above the zoo but below the Met, there are two playgrounds, one of which is a mommy playground and the other of which is a nanny playground. To a Philadelphian, this seems pretty twisted, but I guess that’s what happens when you make up a whole city out of Midwesterners and new-minted Americans, without any real natives to speak of. It’s true there is at least one playground in Society Hill in Philly where the nannies and the moms both take kids but don’t seem to mingle very much. (However, a gay dad friend of mine who frequents it says actually there are three groups, the nannies, the pony-tails and the gay dads, and the gay dads, at least, are allowed to talk to anyone.) But all the playgrounds closest to me are much more egalitarian. The real class warfare is otherwise aligned. One of the playgrounds we take Maisie to regularly has a dog run behind a hurricane fence along one side. So we get to see lots of dogwalkers, and au pairs. They seem to hate each other.
I think dogwalkers see themselves as independent entrepreneurs and au pairs as badly-paid servants with only one night off per week. Au pairs, all of them European, know they’ll get to go along on the family vacation to Disney or the Outer Banks or the Jersey Shore. They’re taking a year off to see America on the cheap before going home to manage a hedge fund, and refuse to associate with the underclass of dogwalking dropouts. Of course both groups hate their charges. The funny thing is, the more dogwalkers hate dogs, the more they love kids, and the more au pairs hate kids, the more they love dogs, and the happier the dogs and kids are. It’s only dogs out with their owners who stand still in the street refusing to move. Only kids with Moms or Dads, or worse, both together, ever cry.
This is a parable about poets, poetry camps, revision and creative writing programs, but it’s too beautiful a day for me to tell you exactly how. I’m outta here.

“All kids do today is play video games,” rants my neighbor Stace, out on her steps with her kid Little Stace. She’s bleeding from the bare space between her brows where she overplucks. “She can’t even jump rope, can you believe it?” In Stace’s window is an O’Bama sign, the Irish-American Barack Obama one, with a shamrock as an apostrophe. “You’re learning today,” she says to Little Stace. She has a length of clothesline. She makes me take one end. “I thought you were Italian-American,” I say to Big Stace. We turn the rope for Little Stace, who, it’s true, can’t jump rope to save her life. “I just liked the sign,” Big Stace says. They turn for me instead, but Little Stace can’t get the rope up high enough to go over my head; it keeps getting caught in my hair. Or maybe I just can’t jump rope anymore either. “I thought you were a Republican committeewoman,” I say. “For local politics,” Big Stace says.
We sit down on our rowhouse steps, Pennsylvania blue marble, two steps each. Little Stace fools around with a pack of Wolf Pack Bang Snaps she gets out of her Princess Pink Backpack-on-Wheels. They’re caps—gunpowder wads, chalky paper wrappers twisted around the explosive core like toffees. Three boxes for a buck in the Italian Market. Super Loud says the circus-colored package, with its graphic of a snow wolf trio with its mouth fanged open. Big Stace reads the business page of the Inquirer. “Our houses are losing value,” she says. “I should sell and get out. But where would I go if I move?” Little Stace throws caps to the sidewalk off her top step for maximum impact. Tiny crack-crack explosions. “New Jersey?”

It has gotten harder and harder to write well about Iraq and the current administration. One feels helpless, and furious. One jeers not to weep or become apathetic. But none of these responses makes for good poetry. Politics tends toward sloganeering, solutioneering, and declarations of right and wrong; good poems generally require ambivalence and irresolution.
One of the poets I’ve been reading a lot of recently, though—Frederick Seidel—solves the problem by writing the way he always has, attacking pieties and simultaneously declaring his own culpability. Seidel’s poet-persona seems half-crazed, quite dire. The first poem in his 2006 book, Ooga-Booga, “Kill Poem,” seems like one of the best things written in at least the last 25 years. Here’s a piece of it:
“Those impressions are dear to him and no doubt he hoards them imperceptibly, and even unconsciously. How and why, of course, he does not know either. He may suddenly, after hoarding impressions for many years, abandon everything and go off to Jerusalem on a pilgrimage for his soul’s salvation, or perhaps he will suddenly set fire to his native village, and perhaps do both.“–Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, Book 3, Chapter 6, as translated by Constance Garnett
Poets are also hoarders of impressions, of course. Most are nothing but. Speaking of peasants, I want to point out that the Vietnamese language, especially the truly native words not borrowed from the Chinese, somewhat equivalent to pre-Norman English, is very much grounded in the body with its pleasures and horrors, as I try to explain in this flash assay:
The word mình, body, has wide application in Vietnamese. It is sometimes used as a first person pronoun, as in “body has lived here for a long time,” or “body does not know him.” Body is I. It is also we or us. As in: “Body eat rice; they eat bread.” Body is also used to address one’s spouse. As in: “Body, what would you like to eat today?”
In the interstices of being horribly sick (this was another chemotherapy week, with the usual panoply of crushing exhaustion, constant diarrhea, intermittent attacks of abdominal pain, continual nausea, and serial vomiting), I have been thinking about Lin Dinh’s fascinating recent Harriet post “Our Bodies, Our Selves,”? which begins by juxtaposing my recent litany of my various physical ailments with Kenneth Goldsmith’s claims that an undefined “we”? no longer have coherent selves, that “We’re infinitely adaptable and changeable minute-to-minute.”? Lin Dinh’s response to Goldsmith begins with these words: “Could someone with even a single serious illness believe that he can be ‘everyone and no one at all’? That’s he’s ‘infinitely adaptable and changeable minute-to-minute’? I don’t think so. Hell, even a simple headache brings me back to my senses, reminds me of the limitations of my body and mind.”? I think that everyone is at least a somewhat different person in different situations, but I don’t believe that people are wholly malleable. Nor do I think that anything is infinite, not even the universe: the most decentered self still has boundaries. But I can see the truth in both viewpoints.

Snapshot from my neighborhood: A man walks by with a little girl. Tan skin, red lips, dark eyes, turquoise flowered sundress. Spring comes to Philly! She’s not his daughter, she’s his girlfriend’s daughter. He has white pants; you think you can see his legs through the fabric when the sun’s a certain way behind him but it’s an illusion. His hair dyed uniformly, color of a wild animal raised in domesticity since birth, glossy and of no use to itself. He talks to the ladies in Italian so American even I understand: A birthday party of his Nonna at Ristorante Villa di Roma, his father from Calabria, a small mountain village. He speaks Italian—elbow on knee, one loafer (white) propped on the step—because Serafina, the only Neapolitan for blocks, took one dark look at the bud-lipped girl, said “Italiana!” The girl doesn’t know Italian, goes twirlingly down the street plucking the hem and straps of her turquoise dress to Serafina’s puny plum tree, stands under it, spies back to see if she can pull down some pretty purple leaves without Serafina noticing. But doesn’t dare.

Joseph Torra
Taxes (a year’s worth of receipts to sort out and tally up), poems I’m trying to write, a day-long gig up in North Jersey, Maisie’s 15 month checkup, laziness because it’s finally spring: My excuses for not posting for over a week. I read though, and particularly liked Joseph Torra’s new “autobiographical novel,” Call Me Waiter, just out from Pressed Wafer, a Boston-based small press run by the poet-editor-impresario Bill Corbett. Pressed Wafer publishes limited-edition broadsides and postcards and chapbooks of prose and poetry, which you can order directly by writing to 9 Columbus Square, Boston, MA 02116. I make a yearly donation to the press and get everything Corbett publishes; it’s a great deal for a lot of very good, handsomely-designed stuff coming at you in the mail all the time.
At 133 pages, Call Me Waiter is small for a novel, but no chapbook in scope. It’s an account of 20 years spent working as a bartender and waiter. Torra, who’s also a poet, writes wonderfully about work. Ron Silliman called one of his previous novels, Gas Station, “an extraordinary document…[Torra] has a real eye, not simply a literary one.” There are two kinds of writers, those who want to imitate literature, and those who want to imitate life, and the second kind are better, and Torra’s in the second category.
I’m sure this isn’t a novel observation, but I am often struck by how differently people interact online and in person. Though people are capable of both shocking cruelty and viciousness and amazing generosity and kindness, in general face-to-face interactions are guided and moderated by social norms and mores, some of which are purely arbitrary, but many of which make such interactions go more smoothly and painlessly. While America is in general the land of instant intimacy, this phenomenon seems even more pronounced in the online world.
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