True Solar Holiday

By Douglas Crase b. 1944 Douglas Crase
Out of the whim of data,
Out of binary contests driven and stored,
By the law of large numbers and subject to that law
Which in time will correct us like an event,
And from bounce and toss of things that aren’t even things,
I’ve determined the trend I call “you” and know you are real,
Your unwillingness to appear
In all but the least likely worlds, as in this world
Here. In spite of excursions, despite my expenditures
Ever more anxiously matrixed, ever baroque,
I can prove we have met and I’ve proved we can do it again
By each error I make where otherwise one couldn’t be
Because only an actual randomness
Never admits a mistake. It’s for your sake,
Then (though the stars get lost from the bottle,
Though the bottle unwind), if I linger around in the wrong
Ringing up details, pixel by high bit by bit,
In hopes of you not as integer but at least as the sum
Of all my near misses, divisible,
Once there is time, to an average that poses you perfectly
Like a surprise, unaccidentally credible
Perfectly like a surprise. Am I really too patient
When this is the only program from which you derive?
Not if you knew how beautiful you will be,
How important it is your discovery dawn on me,
How as long as I keep my attention trained
Then finally the days
Will bow every morning in your direction
As they do to the sun that hosannas upon that horizon
Of which I am witness and not the one farther on:
Set to let me elect you as if there were no other choice,
Choice made like temperature, trend I can actually feel

Douglas Crase, "True Solar Holiday" from The Best of The Best American Poetry 1988-1997. Copyright © 1998 by Douglas Crase. Reprinted by permission of Writers' Representatives, Inc..

Source: The Best American Poetry 1988-1997 (Simon and Schuster, 1998)

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Poet Douglas Crase b. 1944

POET’S REGION U.S., Mid-Atlantic

Subjects Living, Nature, Stars, Planets, Heavens, Arts & Sciences, Sciences, Love, Unrequited Love

Biography

New York School poet and critic Douglas Crase was raised on a farm in Michigan and educated at Princeton University. He is the author of the poetry collection The Revisionist (1981), which was nominated for a National Book Critics Circle Award; AMERIFIL.TXT: A Commonplace Book (1997), part of the University of Michigan’s Poets on Poetry series; and Both: A Portrait in Two Parts (2004), the joined biographies of botanist . . .

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SUBJECT Living, Nature, Stars, Planets, Heavens, Arts & Sciences, Sciences, Love, Unrequited Love

POET’S REGION U.S., Mid-Atlantic

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Originally appeared in Poetry magazine.

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