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Unicorn Believers Don’t Declare Fatwas

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Oddly enough, there is a
“Unicorn Pleasure Ring” in existence.
Research reveals that Hitler lifted
the infamous swastika from a unicorn
emerging from a colorful rainbow.

Nazi to unicorn: “You’re not coming
out with me dressed in that ridiculous
outfit.” You can finally tell your daughter
that unicorns are real. One ripped the head off
a waxwork of Adolf Hitler, police said.

April 22 is a nice day. I really like it.
I mean it’s not as fantastic as that Hitler
unicorn ass but it’s pretty special to me.
CREAMING bald eagle there is a tiny Abe
Lincoln boxing a tiny Hitler. MAGIC UNICORNS

“You’re really a unicorn?” “Yes. Now
kiss my feet.” Hitler as a great man.
Hitler . . . mm yeah, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler,
Hitler, Hitler, Hitler . . . German food is so bad,
even Hitler was a vegetarian, just like a unicorn.

I was sort of doodling Hitler at my friend’s
house and we couldn’t stop watching
unicorn hardcore soft porn abortion e-cards
containing scenes in which the baby angora unicorn
and Hitler stay warm on a cold night.

This blog is dedicated to the individual
mystery of Hitler’s moustache and my book of poems
to becoming a unicorn. That unicorn is worse than Hitler.
The unicorn has always been a mythological animal:
Flossy Unicorn Puppet Show Cats That Look Like Hitler Pez Dispensers

Unicorn believers don’t declare fatwas.
So worry about something more important
like getting hit in a collision between
a comet being ridden by Elvis, and Hitler
riding a Unicorn. It’s a psychedelic unicorn light show

and you know that’s groovy baby!
Source: Poetry (July/August 2009)

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This poem originally appeared in the July/August 2009 issue of Poetry magazine

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Unicorn Believers Don’t Declare Fatwas

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