Canadians out the king of cliché and the queen of cryptic

Know what's hard? Workin' in a coal mine. Know what else is hard? Writing a whole book review. Sheesh. There's the reading of the book—maybe even books (!)—the thoughtful analysis of technique, tradition, and style. The paragraphs. Ugh. And no one even cares! Know what's easier? Writing a listicle!  Like in Self! Yep, they're awesome.  But won't readers realize that the "critics" have dodged their critical responsibility by simply attaching some arbitrary abstraction to a group of poets and filling up the space underneath with hyperventilating nonsense? Not if it's a controversial OVERRATED list, duh! Then all people will talk about is how totally OVERRATED everyone is! OVERRATED like Cheetos Paws were overrated! Those things sucked! Genius! Let's check in with Canada's the National Post's listicle of overrated Canadian writers:

Erin Moure

Though it probably seems perverse to most people to think of a poet in this day and age being overrated, it does still happen. A few names suggested themselves for inclusion here, but Erin Moure gets the nod for being so prolific and so honoured. She’s been nominated something like five times for a GG (she won once), and shortlisted for the Griffin. She also demonstrates why people have taken to avoiding poetry so studiously. Cryptic without being particularly interesting, stricken with various political and linguistic theories, and barren of the sort of grace one typically looks to poetry to provide, it’s all too easy to take a pass on.

Michael Ondaatje

Surprise! What credibility would a list like this have if it didn’t include the absurd figure of Michael Ondaatje, our very own poet laureate of pretentious, purple prose, our king of cliché, a sorcerer who has improbably managed for decades now to pass off his distinctive brand of inert slop as somehow being possessed of a “literary” value only detectable by prize juries, time-serving academics, and a handful of supine reviewers. It would all be laughable if not for the catastrophic effect the grotesque inflation of his reputation has had on Canadian writing, particularly with the enshrinement of historical romance as the default mode for serious dramatic fiction. Truly both a tragedy and farce.

Nothing like a listicle on a hot summer day! Thanks, National Post.