"Thank God this country has a poet laureate."

And then there's this from the fair and balanced folks at The Onion: "Distressed Nation Turns to Poet Laureate for Solace." Says some things about how some people feel about some things (i.e., the value of poetry), don't it? We'll let the article speak for itself:

"We've long relied on our poet laureates as a beacon of hope in times of trouble," said 55-year-old car mechanic Chuck Burgess, who traveled from Minneapolis to keep vigil alongside the many thousands waiting for the sagely Levine to emerge from his two-story ranch house and take up his new mantle. "Their masterfully crafted verses and subtle explorations of interiority dispel the nation's fears in a way that nothing else can."

"Right now, America is eagerly anticipating his words," added Burgess, later saying that he's been tracking Levine's work ever since it won the Levinson Prize from Poetry magazine in 1981. "We're counting on the discursive lyricism and shifting postures of fractiousness for which Mr. Levine's poems are renowned to lift our spirits."

According to reports, copies of Levine's 2004 collection Breath have been pulled down from bookshelves in living rooms throughout the nation, with friends and family gathering to reread the new laureate's free verse testaments to the persistence of life in the presence of coming darkness.

In addition, because the nation's 300-million-plus citizens don't want to miss a single word of what the poet has to say, continuous live news coverage from Fresno has preempted television programming on all channels.

"There are few things Americans love more than poetry," said Miami-area real estate agent William Chen, who was among the masses assembled on Levine's front lawn. "At this point, one could even say that desire for intellectual stimulation through layered poetic musings might be the only thing holding our wounded nation together."

So true. So true.