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The Week That Each Day Was a Holiday
Here in the Harriet hacienda, every new sunrise brings a celebration. Here are the special occasions we honored this week.
Monday was Complexity Day. We read Kevin Prufer’s tribute to the hard-to-explain, lit fireworks and watched them explode all around us, and enjoyed cocktails that, although incorporating all four major liquors, tasted oddly similar to non-alcoholic sweet tea. After a few rounds of these tasty concoctions, we segued from complexity into sentimentality.
Tuesday was Avenge the OWS Library Day. A spokesperson for the NYC arm of the Occupy Wall Street movement alleges that the NYPD destroyed books and other property worth $47K. And it’s going to court. Tuesday was also Valentine’s Day. At press time, OWS and the NYPD had not exchanged Toblerone.
Wednesday was Linsanity Day. On this day, we celebrated our favorite celebrities with the name Lin. Specifically, we took another look at the stylistic tics and obsessions of our old comrade Tao, and his resistance to writing “the poem of the moment.” Meanwhile, the artist formerly known as Mars Blackmon paid poetic tribute to the unlikely Knicks supermeme Jeremy.
Friday is Free Zhu Yufu Day. Dissident Zhu Yufu was recently awarded a seven-year stretch in the hut for the treasonous act of putting pen to paper in an interesting way. Since the Chinese government hasn’t been acknowledging receipt of our faxes, we supported unfettered expression by getting loaded and yelling at the nearest black helicopter.