The Courtesy

By Alan R. Shapiro b. 1952

(for Saul Chessler, 1953-1974)

I walked from my house down Coolidge Street last night   
And air, beginning movement in the trees,   
Shook down a hushing from the branches.   
On either side of me the houses
Like solid shadow, blocks of silence
In the violet light, so dim without dimming.   
And I saw you, Saul, my old friend, waiting   
For me at the corner where our two streets met.


I wanted to ask you what it was like to die
But you said first, as if you didn’t want to tell me,   
‘The doctors made me better. We can run again.’   
You ran behind me (the way you always did),
Your slow strides lunging; though they never could keep up   
This time they stayed right there at my heels.   
Turning, I saw one pocket inside out
Clapping on your coat front like a white hand.   
Your breath quickened, scrawled in the chilling air   
Like mine, and vanishing. We ran on a field of snow.   
Our footsteps pattered the smooth crust,   
Each one feeling like it might break through.   
Around us the pure white kindled under violet.


And we returned by train. Sitting next to you,
Staring through the window, I saw your body
Lying like a dark slash in the snow,
Your arms flung up, your legs crossed,
Even as I heard you next to me
Still struggling to catch your breath. You were just   
Pretending to be alive—remembering to breathe.   
Lumbering under living weight, saying you were cured,   
Your flushed cheeks—all just to put me at my ease,   
Afraid that your death might embarrass me, even then   
Saul, you were more a friend to me than you were dead.   
But in my mind the question was still circling:
What is it like to die? But how could I catch you
In a lie which you intended as a kindness?
Beside you on the train, hurtling back
Into the strange familiarity of Coolidge Street,
Remaining silent, I returned the courtesy.

Alan Shapiro, “The Courtesy” from The Courtesy (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1983). Copyright © 1983 by Alan Shapiro. Reprinted with the permission of the author.

Source: Selected Poems 1974-1996 (The University of Chicago Press, 2000)

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Poet Alan R. Shapiro b. 1952

POET’S REGION U.S., Southern

Subjects Friends & Enemies, Death, Living, Relationships

 Alan R. Shapiro

Biography

Born in Boston, Massachusetts, Alan Shapiro was educated at Brandeis University. As the author of numerous collections of poetry, Shapiro has explored family, loss, domesticity, and the daily aspects of people’s lives in free verse and traditional poetic forms. He has published over ten books of poetry, most recently Reel to Reel (2014); Night of the Republic (2012), a finalist for the National Book Award and the Griffin Prize; . . .

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Poem Categorization

SUBJECT Friends & Enemies, Death, Living, Relationships

POET’S REGION U.S., Southern

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Originally appeared in Poetry magazine.

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