The Flat-Hunter’s Way

By Franklin Pierce Adams 1881–1960 Franklin Pierce Adams

We don’t get any too much light;

It’s pretty noisy, too, at that;

The folks next door stay up all night;

There’s but one closet in the flat;

The rent we pay is far from low;

Our flat is small and in the rear;

But we have looked around, and so

We think we’ll stay another year.

Our dining-room is pretty dark;

Our kitchen’s hot and very small;

The “view” we get of Central Park

We really do not get at all.

The ceiling cracks and crumbles down

Upon me while I’m working here—

But, after combing all the town,

We think we’ll stay another year.

We are not “handy” to the sub;

Our hall-boy service is a joke;

Our janitor’s a foreign dub

Who never does a thing but smoke;

Our landlord says he will not cut

A cent from rent already dear;

And so we sought for better—but

We think we’ll stay another year.

Biography

Franklin P. Adams, or F. P. A. as he was known to his readers, was best known for his witty and satirical column "The Conning Tower," which was syndicated in the New York Tribune, the New York World, the New York Herald Tribune and the New York Post. In his column, to which he had a cult-like following, Adams wrote limericks, puns, and satirical prose to dissect political events, review books and plays, and parody the age. A . . .

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