To the Returned Girls

By Franklin Pierce Adams 1881–1960 Franklin Pierce Adams

Will you read my little pome,

O you girls returnèd home

From a summertime of sport

At the Jolliest Resort,

From a Heated Term of joys

Far from urban dust and noise?

You I speak to in this rhyme,

You have had a Glorious Time

Swimming, golfing, bridging, dancing,

Riding, tennising, romancing,

On the springboard, on the raft—

You’ve been often photographed.

At the place you have forsaken,

You have had some pictures taken,

Pictures taken of you dancing,

Riding, tennising, romancing,

Swimming, golfing, and reclining;

Snacking, luncheoning, and dining.

Cometh now my brief advice;

Ladies, be ye ne’er so nice,

Be ye ne’er so fascinating,

Luring, drawing, captivating,

If with interest you’d imbue us,

Do not show those pictures to us!

Snapshots of the links and lawn

Cause in many of us a yawn;

(As for me myself, why, I’m

Glad to see ’em any time)

But—I give it to you square—

Lots of people do not care.

Biography

Franklin P. Adams, or F. P. A. as he was known to his readers, was best known for his witty and satirical column "The Conning Tower," which was syndicated in the New York Tribune, the New York World, the New York Herald Tribune and the New York Post. In his column, to which he had a cult-like following, Adams wrote limericks, puns, and satirical prose to dissect political events, review books and plays, and parody the age. A . . .

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