LEAN DOWN YOUR HEART TO HEAR or AL QUE QUIERE (upside down exclamation mark)

(i'm back and, momentarily, no longer mad nor sad at anyone. thanks, some of you, for the non-posted/able comments. as i already wrote one non-public-commenter, my posterior actually isn't that great, but, my negative capability really IS stunning.)
so, having posted ass, i now reassess the correct/necessary use of this forum.
in some ways, especially as way of transition, my derriere really is a short lyric poem (let me compare/count the ways):

1. adorno's definition of the lyric as subjective expression of a social antagonism;
2. frye's characterization of the lyric as the genre in which the poet turns his back on his audience;
3."there's no ideal form that does for any two of us, i think." (lowell to wcw)
4. somebody's the lyric (lament) as always being personal--founded on a PREMATURE(!) fear that poetic creativity is waning in its author, but really that fear is the loss of potency, both SEXUAL and POETIC.
(me: the lament so personal....it is greek.) AND
5. me, also: what i need to and have been in my way (not) talking about behind YOUR back (dear reader) is this forum as both argument for and against the entanglement of poetry and life-- why are we ever denying (comment about chess) (shitty posts) that they are inextricably linked?--why this blog if not this blogger being both (one time) creator of poem and poem itself?
listen:
"life beats art, so to speak, and sense beats eccentricity, and the way things really are beats the most beautiful unreal visions, half truths one can fix up by leaving out and indulging oneself." (note that AND)
(or so wrote the man who saw the eland at the table to the woman who KNEW BEST);
AND
6. i am, by the way, currently involved in an emotional/intellectual/andyes,sexual threesome, (and i'm not talking me, robert lowell and elizabeth bishop here) i.e.my old way of writing (living) wore out for me. i wanted more of the good prose writer's realistic direct glance. and really, who CAN help us from our NOTHING to the ALL?
oh, i work by my enthusiasms, only as long as they hold on
out.