Acturial plight Nostradamus Devil Bat
Overzealous might-winged flabbergast
Wholesale heathen plot worry wort
Sci-fi lexicon fomenter hassle-free
Quipster of the ring, of the planetary system
Of your choice, of the regrettable necessity
Of your selection, lover of the little village
You choose not to live in, sensationalist (tra-la)
On the wing (tra-la), ever breaded ever-beered contemporary
Of the witless, confessor of regional horrors,
Noxious last-man-in-town-who’d-smite-a-fly,
The delegate slated to spot the pattern,
Overamped readier of the champ, the clue
To all sensory discharge, protean scorn reposed,
A fine thing awry in your youth and others’,
Orphan of the phone, TV, stereo, stove, etcetera, yet
Promoter of the hack’s activities, duffer’s delight,
Haver of your own way, helloer of fortunes,
Traveled-fast hyperbole to hell and gone,
Globe-wide uncle of one, sensational at speed
And sleep, twister of like you did last summer,
Absent weekender, (and) faulty diner
Though deprecating in that, more fortunate
Than unfortunate kin, user of lotions
And marginal balms, believer, muscler in-er,
Frayer, no more than most, of fabulist nerves
In the cause of the fabulous, half-assed fighter
Of the swine, tippler, hoper for the best
While naughty in the tale, puker in the room,
Absolutist, habitual fucker, fucker
Of the young, Halifax (type) charmer, trickster there
In the wind, freezer of you monkeys, incipient whimperer
Of tummyache, any ache, shover of it regardless
Into your pocket, what-the-heller sometimes,
One-time holocaust fortifier, seen murderous Russian
With briefcase, meeter at the park in twenty minutes,
Thinker of something else, mondo tres flagrante,
Endorser, snuffer, in service to the fundament,
Turner, attender, lighter of the candles,
Blower of the candles out, some ugly,
Troublesome divine, lip-quick, occasionally poco loco,
Sucker, oft winter fond, sooth various, humble sinker,
Par considering, comer, turd, a good example,
Known chump, humper, two or three bricks shy of a load,
Thermal crackpot, wishy-wash, twit, object of the annual,
Of another, Bahama-bound, neo-passé poontang,
Lunge-monger, thrust-hustler, quasi-objectionable
Quasi-aged quasi-rookie, one of the boys and girls,
Binky, you admit, to your friends, hapless, potentially
Awarded winner, ropey of soul, rank specialist, signifier,
Roiling worm, symptom-listing, self-effulgent, no-show,
Knower of exactly how you feel (really), sleeper, boozer.
Blank-head, some Bub or other, lover, quick-draw, pleaser,
Size-queen or concerned consumer, wondrous in your turn,
Wrong, haunted, fraught, tamed, papacy bewildered,
Someone rarely associated with something (else), yet
A devoted supporter of just that now, one that once
Shook the hand that shook the hand of the one that’s sure enough
Now President, sooth-brooder, a fool humid tube, trumpet
To the fluke, reacher, neglectful, fruit-thinker, juiced,
Mourner, bruin-typed, oaf-souled, heavenly described,
Vapid grappler, feeler deeply, bone so, outré,
Vigorous hand washer, resenter of children or others
Openly fascinated, feckless defendant, drummin’ man,
“Fascinatin’ Rhythm” whistler, buff, let me
Have a biter, painter of things a certain blue,
Kicker and screamer, squabbler, to this day,
As I say, digger of that crazy beat?

by Steve Carey (1945-1989)

Originally Published: December 21st, 2009

Author of eight books of poetry and numerous chapbooks, Anselm Berrigan earned a BA from SUNY Buffalo and an MFA from Brooklyn College. His collections of poetry include Integrity & Dramatic Life (1999), Zero Star Hotel (2002), Some Notes on My Programming (2006), Free Cell (2009), Something for Everybody (forthcoming, fall 2018)and the book-length poems Notes...

  1. December 22, 2009

    I don't know man... you're in the weather.

  2. December 23, 2009
     Marina Lazzara

    Inner outer, over shouter. Fortune flitter, habit spinner,\r
    Could be, would be, writer of lute things.\r
    Filter the shore when the sky creeps some more.

  3. December 24, 2009
     Aaron Lowinger

    WOW - reads like a ghostface rap:\r

    We at the weedgate waitin for Jake \r
    We want eight ravioli bags, \r
    two thirsty villians yelling bellyaches \r
    Heavyweight rhyme writers hittin the grass\r
    Stash the right bitch, \r
    pull out his kite from this white bitch \r
    Talkin bout, "Dear Ghost, you the only nigga I know\r
    like when the cops come, you never hide your toast"\r
    Guests started mashing, CVL, Ice Water battlion\r
    Past tense place to gold caskets \r
    Dru Hill bitches, specialist loungin at the mosque\r
    Suede cufy, Rabbi come dig up a dentist \r
    Rhymes is made of garlic, never in the target\r
    when the NARC's hit, rumor is you might start to spit \r
    You nice Lord, sweet daddy Grace, wind lifted\r
    on the dancefloor, mangos is free followed by Ghost \r
    Dug behind monument cakes, we never half-baked\r
    Alaskan, cess-capade, pushin new court dates \r
    Trauma, hands is like candy canes, lay my balls on ice\r
    The branches in my weed be the vein \r
    Swimsuit issue, darts sent truly from the heart, \r
    boo, miss you, See daddy rock a wristful \r
    Moder-en slave God, graveyard spells, fog your goggles\r
    Layin like needles in the hospital\r
    Five steps to conquer, Ax Vernon debt, big ass whistle\r
    Ziploc your ear, here thistle