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My Doggy Ate My Homework

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“My doggy ate my homework.
He chewed it up,” I said.
But when I offered my excuse
My teacher shook her head.

I saw this wasn’t going well.
I didn’t want to fail.
Before she had a chance to talk,
I added to the tale:

“Before he ate, he took my work
And tossed it in a pot.
He simmered it with succotash
Till it was piping hot.

“He scrambled up my science notes
With eggs and bacon strips,
Along with sautéed spelling words
And baked potato chips.

“He then took my arithmetic   
And had it gently fried.
He broiled both my book reports   
With pickles on the side.

“He wore a doggy apron
As he cooked a notebook stew.
He barked when I objected.
There was nothing I could do.”

“Did he wear a doggy chef hat?”
She asked me with a scowl.
“He did,” I said. “And taking it
Would only make him growl.”

My teacher frowned, but then I said   
As quickly as I could,
“He covered it with ketchup,   
And he said it tasted good.”

“A talking dog who likes to cook?”   
My teacher had a fit.
She sent me to the office,   
And that is where I sit.

I guess I made a big mistake   
In telling her all that.
’Cause I don’t have a doggy.   
It was eaten by my cat.

“My Doggy Ate My Homework.” © 2004 by Dave Crawley. Reprinted from If Kids Ruled the School (© 2004 by Meadowbrook Creations) with permission from Meadowbrook Press.
Source: If Kids Ruled the School (Meadowbrook Press, 2004)
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My Doggy Ate My Homework

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  • Born in Frankfurt, Germany, television reporter and poet Dave Crawley earned a BA at Washington and Lee University and an MA at Emerson College.
     
    In his poems for children, Crawley uses rhyme and light humor as he engages with subjects of animal life and school days. He is the author of the nonfiction book Sidelights on Wisconsin (1988) and the children’s poetry books Cat Poems (2005, illustrated by Tamara Petrosino), Dog Poems (2007, illustrated by Tamara Petrosino), and Reading, Rhyming and ’Rithmetic (2010, illustrated by Liz Callen). His work has been featured in the anthologies Rolling in the Aisles: A Collection of Laugh-Out-Loud Poems (2005), If Kids Ruled the School: More Kids' Favorite Funny School Poems (2004), and What I Did on My Summer Vacation: Kids' Favorite Funny Summer Vacation Poems (2009), all edited by Bruce Lansky and illustrated by Stephen Carpenter.
     
    Crawley has produced more than 3,000...

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