Refuse

By Remi Kanazi
don't pull that trigger
you don't have to go
don't have to fight
conquer, kill, beat
torture, scar

your own conscience
will eat away at you
remind you, tell you
what you did
at night in hallucinations
broken sleep and deep sweats
in shattered relationships
and black eyes
it is not business
as usual

you will climb that chair
creep up that ladder
put a rope around your neck
and leap to go back
to the way it was
swallow a shotgun
it will fester
jolt and choke you

those who sent you
won't remember
won't care, won't treat
won't keep promises
you will die alone
even if surrounded
be loved ones

don't pull that trigger
step off that ledge
you are not
jumping alone
pull back
lift that finger
turn in the other direction

there will be repercussions
but they cannot last forever
that will last forever
that gunshot
that trigger pulled
     will not end
     be amended
     be fixed
when you come back
as shell of your former self

refuse to be damaged
refuse to be pawned
refuse to serve
their agenda

you have a choice
remember that
you can
refuse

Copyright Credit: Remi Kanazi, "Refuse" from Before the Next Bomb Drops: Rising Up from Brooklyn to Palestine. Copyright © 2015 by Remi Kanazi.  Reprinted by permission of Haymarket Books.
Source: Before the Next Bomb Drops: Rising Up from Brooklyn to Palestine (Haymarket Books, 2015)