'My Body as an Argument, a Site of Proof and Contention': Morgan Parker's NYT Op-Ed

In a New York Times op-ed, Morgan Parker, author of the forthcoming poetry collection There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé, bravely articulates her struggle to remain strong in spite of a culture that defines her as a "thing to be hated." Despite her existence in a world where talk therapy and psychiatric medications are mainstream, Parker writes: "When I was 15, I was told I have major anxiety disorder and moderate-to-severe depressive disorder. 'Black people don’t go to therapy,' my dad said. I had been told to pray, but it wasn’t working. I was told to be strong." More about Parker's struggle:

As a little black girl in a little white suburb, trying to smooth down my hair and lick the ash from my elbows, I wondered, do white people have these thoughts? Is something wrong with me?

Thirteen years later, still plagued by the exact same garbage — and worse, used to it — I tell my therapist I never stood a chance of loving myself.

“Look at the ads in the subway,” I plead. “Look at my Tinder inbox. Look at the news!”

Across from me in a wingback chair, a few feet above the panic attack of Union Square, she nods. We both know there is no solution, but even her agreement is more than I’m used to. I’m lucky to able to articulate what hurts.

At the end of our session, I pay my therapist $1,800, a sliver of which will be reimbursed by my insurance. The bill covers several months of biweekly cognitive-behavioral talk therapy and medication management. I then pay Walgreens $77.54 for two of the three psychopharmaceuticals I take regularly. I’m privileged to almost be able to afford this. It is an expense I will always have.

Continue reading at NYT.