Deep Thoughts at Ulta Beauty

I went to Ulta Beauty to buy perfume

I was horny and I wanted the universe inside my nose

The lit shelves and raised hair

Press a sensual towering cloud

Swells and pitches of  blood

This one smells like observation deck

This one smells like Florida toilet

Stinky zoo

Albino gator

There was no tester for Ariana Grande’s “thank u next” signature scent

I Googled its reviews:

“Smells like sexy pickles and pears”

We had everything on earth

Pupae, larvae, tiger moths

Stick bugs and shrimp plants and giant millipedes, jellyfish

And what did we make

Dell computer oxycodone maxi dresses

Water beds, the PT Cruiser

P90X, MK ULTRA, bitcoin, body rock, nation states

We could have had manta rays

But we wanted Boone’s Farm apple wine

I’m depressed

I’m depressed by mankind’s infinite reach