Animal Magic

Garrison Keillor talks dogs, turtles, and other four-legged creatures with Billy Collins and Kay Ryan.
Kay Ryan and Billy Collins sat down with Garrison Keillor to read poetry and talk about their process. Aidin Vaziri found the evening uplifting, except when the topic of death came up.

There wasn’t a piano on stage. That’s always a good sign when Garrison Keillor is in the room.

Instead, the audience at San Francisco’s elegant Herbst Theatre on February 15th was greeted by a simple stage with three comfy chairs, fresh-cut flowers, and a bowl of shiny red apples. The feeling of having stumbled into someone’s living room wasn’t entirely accidental.

Despite his questionable musical skills, the host of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion has a rare ability to make people feel at home. After doing it every week for years before four million listeners, it was only natural that he could make a 900-seat room feel cozy. All that was missing was the television in the corner flickering with Seinfeld reruns.

As part of the twenty-fifth anniversary of San Francisco’s City Arts & Lectures program, Keillor was in town to talk poetry with Billy Collins and Kay Ryan. Who better than these two poets both known for their wit? Collins, based in New York, held the title of poet laureate of the United States from 2001 through 2003 and recently released the unpretentious collection The Trouble with Poetry and Other Poems. Ryan, a native Californian, won the Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize in 2004 and has released six collections of minimalist work, including her most recent collection, The Niagara River.

As with an evening at home among good friends, the conversation flowed easily and freely. The risk that it would get too intellectual was dashed at the start when Ryan botched a metaphor comparing transforming personal experience into writing to, well, turning cookie dough into cookies. It didn’t really work, and she didn’t really care.

Keillor, dressed in a crisp black suit offset with a jarring red tie, sock, and sneaker combo, also made sure that things never got too tedious. “Read one of your poems about animals,” he requested of Ryan early on. After stoically listening to her piece, “Deer,” in which the author uses the animal as an analogy for her own writing process, he deadpanned, “How long did it take you to write that poem, and how did you know you were done?”

Along the way, the laid-back trio engaged in lively debates on the pros and cons of poems that end with rhymes (verdict: not good); poetry versus prose (verdict: poetry wins); and Dick Cheney’s recent hunting accident (verdict: it was no accident).

There were also revelations: Ryan does most of her writing while lying down. When Collins was a teenager in a strict East Coast Catholic school, he would walk around the halls with a volume of Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s work hidden in his pocket and daydream about stealing cars, popping pills, and driving to Denver to seek out jazz clubs. And best of all was Ryan’s admission that she got into writing after something she said made a woman spit milk across the table—“A stranger!” That’s when she realized the power of language.

In between the casual conversation, the mostly middle-aged and mostly white audience reveled in samples of the poets’ best work. Most of it happened to be about dogs, turtles, mice, rabbits, and, in one case, a drawing of a cow (“I’m sort of an indoor nature poet,” Collins admitted). Each was stunning in its own way, but what all the pieces shared was an endearing lack of reverence for the poets’ chosen profession and a wicked sense of humor. Collins’ poem “The Trouble with Poetry” came with the kicker “It encourages more poetry.”

When Keillor took the microphone into the crowd and a member of the audience asked the poets what they’d learned about themselves through their writing, they exchanged weary glances. “Just how to finish the poem,” Collins shrugged. When someone else wondered if they had any favorite pieces, Ryan shot back with her own variation on the old children analogy, “We just bear them out and abandon them.”
Inevitably, as it always does when amongst friends, the topic of death came up. Someone mentioned that poets have the highest suicide rate of all writers because they face the blank page more frequently than the others. For the first time all night, brows furrowed and a somber tone set in.

Then Collins piped up, “So kill yourself.”

Originally Published: February 28th, 2006

Aidin Vaziri is the pop music critic at the San Francisco Chronicle. He has also written for Black Book, Surface, Rolling Stone, Salon, and

  1. May 11, 2007
     Jeffrey P Ferris

    I love Billy Collins' poem, "The Lanyard". It is a perfect 'Mothers Day' sentiment. Please add it to your collection. Thank you.

  2. July 27, 2007
     Nona Taylor

    Did Billy Collins write a poem about a dog that died, then announced from heaven what he really felt about his human master? It's hilarious, and I would really enjoy knowing where to find it.

    Thanks for any help you can give. (Garrison Keillor used it on a Prairie Home Companion program, I think.)

  3. August 1, 2007
     M J Brune

    The poem Nona Taylor mentions is called "The Revenant" and she's right, it is excellent, and (of course) Billy Collins did write it. I actually found it on-line somewhere, so you might want to try putting the title into your browser, Nona.

  4. March 27, 2008
     Dave Fogt

    I too have been trying to find a poem written by Mr. Collins about a loyal pet dog who died and had some questions and observations concerning his master. Could you tell me where to find it,,,, or even better, e-mail me a copy ?

    Thank you.

  5. April 16, 2008
     Gus Gramling

    I saw/ heard Mr. Collins read "The Lanyard" on PBS last night, and if you don't post that poem before Mother's Day this year, then shame on you...

  6. November 15, 2010

    Reading Collins i feel always at the edge
    of light,the darkness surfs an endless sea in depth and distance full to the brim of dead ships in resurrection Not to mention a moon swivelling the night sky glutted clean of the old in full flight in the new. I am on the edge of madness in some born-again womb in an unknown sleep, a stranger in blood as new wine, dressed in utopian robes
    his poems are as melodies on winds of no time blowing everyday life in simple
    forms knowable by any i wish i could coin such phrases.

  7. May 2, 2016

    You can find The Lanyard here:

  8. May 2, 2016

    You can find Collins reading two of his poems about dogs, including "The Revenant" on Ted's Talks:

  9. May 2, 2016

    see link above in response to MJ Brune: