Bringing Hannah Home

We brought Hannah home today
in afternoon sun with a crisp chill in the air
on a hill overlooking the bay.

Two women with a child and a shovel and a frozen placenta wrapped in aluminum foil placed in a red plastic bag.
Hannah was brought into this world
some say fourth others say fifth
five days before.
Before we brought her home.

The weekend of rain softened the earth
but the cold discouraged the shovel from denting more than the surface.
I dug into the earth.
The ground weakened beneath the strength I put into the shovel
pounding the ground
smooth and moist at first
then cold and solid.

Pounding the ground
warmed my arms.
I thought good thoughts for Hannah and her mother
and prayed for us all.
Remembering those who have passed on and those to be born
and I thought of my children to be born
and I thought of my father who has passed on.

Breaking into the cold ground
I thought of the day we brought my father home.
Dinétah winter had frozen the ground
and the earth chipped like ice, slivers of crunchy cold beneath our feet.
Our bodies warmed by our work
and the earth chipped like an old tree being chopped, taking hours to finish.
Our bodies tired from our work
and the earth piled high beside the hole like the clouds and just as fluffy.
Our bodies natural returning to the ground.

I dug into the ground
digging out earth that would nourish Hannah
digging out life that would embody Hannah
and soon a small hole appeared four feet deep.

There we stood
two women with a child and a shovel and a frozen placenta wrapped in aluminum foil placed in a red plastic bag.
The frozen mass of
tissue and blood and life
was placed in the small hole
by Hannah’s mother
and I felt her heat
tissue and blood and life
squatting with bloodied hands and cold earth
bringing Hannah home.

Esther Belin, “Bringing Hannah Home” from From the Belly of My Beauty. Copyright © 1999 by Esther Belin. Reprinted by permission of University of Arizona Press.
Source: From the Belly of My Beauty (University of Arizona Press, 1999)
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